Happy 5th birthday, Karoline

Sweet Karoline, up until now every birthday you've had has been exciting for me. I was thrilled when you turned one. Dazed when you were two (I had just had your sister). Three, you were precious as could be. Four was a blessing, you were such a big helper. Here we are sitting at five. I can't hardly take it and today I'm having a hard time. Because, you see, five is a whole hand. Five is a legitimate kid. I have a five year old kid. Now more than ever I'm wishing I could turn back the time and experience your first few years again. I know that all the years to come will only increase that feeling. I love you so much my sweet Karoline Christelle. Knowing that I'm a better mom now than when you were born eases this pain. Now I know to soak up these years to come. "They go fast," is an understatement. 

The last year has brought so much change for you. I could brag on you all day to anyone who would listen. You, my darling, are exceptional. I have no doubt that you could run our house and keep everything in order all the while infusing your own flair and fun into the mix. 

Most notably this year you went to school, pre-K. I cried when I dropped you off the first four times. I thought seriously about not making you go when you cried. We made it through and my did you grow. You learned more than I could have imagined, you enjoyed a variety of snacks you hadn't had before and you made friends. My favorite review from your end of the year conference was that you are a good friend to all. Oh sweet girl, how I love that about you.
First day of school and last day of school, eight months apart.

Your Pre-K graduation

This year you and you sister played, really played. There were moments that I uttered that you both didn't need me. The bond the two of you share is one of my favorite things to watch. 
We took countless trips to the butterfly pavilion this year.

Your fifth birthday party was at the park, you didn't want to leave!

My prayer for you, in this fifth year, is that you may continue to learn, grow and share your gentle spirit with all you encounter. 

I love you more with each passing day.




Today I took the girls shopping. This is super rare for us. Even more uncommon is a trip just for the girls, and hardly ever for "frivolous" shopping. 

They had saved their money for a few months and decided they wanted little purses. The little purses will allow for them to take their money for the church offering. This way they don't have to have pockets or try to hold onto it for an hour. 

Watching them shop was downright fun for me. Having girls I looked forward to these days and today did not disappoint. They knew we were there just for purses and were ok to look, touch (after asking) and put things back other things. 

Imagine their surprise when they found out they could pick another two things (darn buy 3, get 3 free). 
      Karoline told me thank you for taking them shopping and that she really loved me. Alexandra followed her example. I won't be caught buying their love, but today was a good day. 

To Be Good at Something

This is something that has bothered me before. I might have even blogged about it in the past. Right now it's fresh and on my mind.

I want to be successful. I want to be good at something.

For some reason it's not there. I don't have one thing that I do that I want to get better at or grow into. I'm comforted when I see the memes out there that state that a lot of commonly known names didn't get their start of first break until later in life. Maybe I'll have better luck in my 30s figuring out what it is I want to do and be good at. More than just decluttering and organizing my house.

I want more for myself but what is the more? I don't know.

I have a "fancy" camera and I haven't taken the time to figure out how to use it. I have a sewing machine that I can use but I haven't used it for more than simple projects. I have a blog but I don't promote it.

Figuring out what it is I want to do and putting effort into that something is heavy on my heart.

A lot of my energy goes into my girls and being a good mom. I am not always successful in my parenting but I give it a good shot. However, I know it is possible to be a good parent and have a focus that I enjoy as well.